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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23351740">Watch Me Burn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/katherinebrooks/pseuds/katherinebrooks'>katherinebrooks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boss/Employee Relationship, Emotional Infidelity, F/M, potential infidelity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:54:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,213</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23351740</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/katherinebrooks/pseuds/katherinebrooks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss Everdeen develops an irrational desire for her boss, and that endangers her career, the most important thing in her life after her sister. Peeta Mellark seems to have no idea of Katniss' attraction to him, and for him she has always been an example of a professional. But there is nothing in this life that lasts forever, nor her dirty little secret, and maybe not his marriage.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Delly Cartwright/Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen &amp; Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen/Other(s), Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey guys! I've been on the THG fandom since 2013 but I never dared to write before. These are difficult times that we are living in and I thought that writing could help me deal with anxiety a bit. This is my first story and I hope you like it.</p><p>Disclaimer: The Hunger Games characters belong to Suzanne Collins only.</p><p>- KB</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I touched myself thinking about my boss.</p>
<p>No, worse than that, I touched myself thinking about my <em>married</em> boss.</p>
<p>If anyone could read my thoughts, my position as a financial assistant at the Mellark Company would be just a vague memory now. Because believe me when I say, these thoughts were not pure.</p>
<p>I know that as wrong it may seem, this kind of thing happens more often than we think. The cliché comes ready, especially when your boss is as handsome, hot and charming as mine. Some people even expect that to happen, like my friends who kept reminding me about how attractive he was, and what they would do if they were in my place.</p>
<p>In their delusional minds the only reason capable of justifying me not being attracted to him would be that I'm not attracted to <em>any man</em>, which they knew was far from the truth.</p>
<p>I identified myself as bisexual, but still no one would imagine that behavior coming from me.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I mean, they expected me to be <em>attracted</em> to him, yes. But not that I would actually lock myself in my office bathroom and masturbate with the image of his perfect smile dancing in my head, simply because I just couldn't stand the pressure between my legs anymore.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>You know, I'm an ambitious and self-assured twenty-five year old woman. Since I was eleven years old, when I lost my father and had to work to support my family, being successful has become my main goal in life. I was the best student during all my school years and it was no different in college. I hope it doesn't sound arrogant, but I didn't even have a competition. The fact that I got my MBA at the age of twenty-four can prove it.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Long story short, what I mean is: sex was not my priority. And I would never do anything that could put my career at risk.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You don't believe that either? Then watch it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"You shouldn't be working on your lunch break."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I looked up at my office door. Around me, piles and piles of papers told me otherwise.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Peeta Mellark was standing in front of me with a genuine expression of concern on his face. He was dressed in one of his expensive and well-cut suits that outlined his perfect figure and his blond hair, which was longer than usual, fell over his face. He looked at me with his sweet blue eyes and smiled.</p>
<p>"I know what you're going to say, so I took the liberty of ordering something for you to eat. I hope this is not a problem."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I blinked a few times, unable to say anything. Firstly because his presence disconcerted me, and secondly because I didn't know that he cared so much about my well-being.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>He was a good boss, don't get me wrong. But we rarely exchanged more than two words that weren't about work.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"No." I mumbled. "I mean, it's not a problem, but you didn't have to worry."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"Of course I should worry, you are my employee." I realized he had taken a few steps into my office. "You know more than anyone how much I admire your competence, but I can't just ignore the fact that you're not eating properly. May I?"</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Peeta pointed to the empty chair across from my table.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Was he really asking me for permission? Absolutely everything in that place belonged to him, from the smallest paper clip to my vagina.</p>
<p>
      <em>Bad joke, I know.</em>
</p>
<p>
Maybe I forgot to mention it, but Peeta Mellark was absolutely chivalrous. It pissed me off sometimes.
</p>
<p>"Sure." I felt compelled to stop what I was doing. "Do you need anything, Mr. Mellark?"</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I didn't want to sound rude, especially since he was my boss, but like I said, he made me nervous. And the fact that he made me nervous made me resent him a little.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>No matter what my wet panties said, I always tried to be objective and strictly professional with him. I was afraid that he would think I hated him.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"No. I mean, yes." He laughed awkwardly. "I wanted you to keep me company."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"I wasn't drinking anything, but if I had been, I certainly would have spit a good portion of the liquid on him."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He wanted what?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Saying that to me in my current situation sounded a lot like him saying that he wanted to fuck me on my table.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"I ordered food for both of us." My boss explained. "And I don't like to eat alone, so since you're here too, I thought..."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I swallowed. I was sure that my cheeks were flushed and it bothered me in countless ways.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I had this motto that said that Katniss Everdeen was never nervous around men, Katniss Everdeen <em>made</em> men nervous.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>And the only time I blushed was during sex.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>So why the hell did I feel like my face was on fire? Fuck this man, since this man can't fuck <em>me</em>.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"If you don't feel comfortable with this I can..."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"No." I interrupted his speech. "I was only taken by surprise, but of course I can keep you company. You are my boss after all."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>My eyes widened when I realized what I had hinted at and I wished I could withdraw my words.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I basically suggested that I was forced to have lunch with him because he was my boss, and not because I wanted to.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Why did I have to be such a bitch?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"That sounded terrible, sorry." I bit my bottom lip. "It was supposed to be a joke, I don't know."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Instead of being upset by my rudeness, Peeta opened one of those annoying smiles that could melt the polar caps.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Do you see that? The way my heart races and my palms start to sweat profusely?</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I hated that.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"I like the way your eyes are expressive." He was still smiling when he said it. "They speak for you, no matter what words come out of your mouth."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh shit.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>What if he could see through my eyes how much he made my pussy wet? Can he see me covering my mouth with one hand so I don't scream while the other rubs my swollen clit? </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I looked at the ring on his left ring finger and sighed.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"I didn't mean to offend you, Mr. Mellark."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"And you haven't, in any way." He said. "I just like the fact that you are honest with your emotions, even when you try not to."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Our eyes met briefly and I quickly averted my gaze.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"I hope you like lamb stew." He said when opening one of the food boxes. "It's from one of the best restaurants in town."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Our food was delivered by one of the secretaries, who made no attempt to hide her surprise when she realized that Peeta effing Mellark was going to have lunch with a subordinate.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Not that it hadn't happened before, I'm sure it had, but I had only been there for a few months. I was not even able to process it myself.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"It's actually my favorite." I said with a little surprise.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>He couldn't possibly know that, could he?</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"Are you serious? It's my favorite too." Peeta seemed relaxed in a way I was not used to. "My father is an accomplished cook. I'm sure this stew is divine, but it will never be as good as his."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"My dad used to cook too." I found myself saying. "He taught me how to do it once."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>The fact that I referred to my father in the past tense made Peeta adopt an expression of sympathy. I've been getting that kind of look from everyone around me for years, I was really tired of it now.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"I'm sorry. I didn't know that your father..."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault." I said. "Besides, I was the one who mentioned him. I have no problem talking about my dad, in case you're wondering. And I'm sure that if he were still here, your father would have a strong competitor for the best lamb stew award."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>The smile that Peeta gave me lit up his whole face and everything around him did too. Perfectly white and symmetrical teeth, pink lips, those damn dimples.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>It was not possible that this man didn't have a flaw. And if he had one, I needed to find out what it was.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Urgently.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"I'm sure he would."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>We served and ate our food in comfortable silence. I was an excellent communicator when it came to my work, but I sucked at chitchats. Especially when I could barely look the other person in the eye, considering that I had an orgasm thinking about him.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>It was fucking embarrassing.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"Thank you for lunch, Mr. Mellark." I said after throwing the empty packages in the trash. "Nor did I know I was so hungry."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Peeta had an amused expression on his face and I had no idea why.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"I'm glad I was able to help."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>My body was still tingling from his presence and in an attempt to ignore that sensation, I solemnly concentrated on my food. Maybe I ate more than half of it all by myself.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>My boss must be horrified. Maybe he will consider giving me a raise now? You know, so that I can keep my pantry and refrigerator full.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"It was very kind of you." I let go of my hair that was stuck in a loose bun. "My energies have been restored."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I felt his gaze travel quickly across my loose hair, then my face and then my whole body. It was quite subtle, but I still noticed it.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Or maybe it was my perverted mind playing tricks on me. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>He was fucking married. And if there was one thing that everyone in that office knew, it was that he loved his wife.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"Your welcome." He said, returning to his usual professional tone. "Try not to overload yourself with work, Miss Everdeen. You are one of my best employees here and believe me, you have proven your worth in this company several times. Maybe you work that hard because you like it, and I admire that, but don't neglect your health, okay?"</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"Okay..."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>The way he seemed worried about me warmed my icy heart a little.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I was not used to people taking care of me, it was usually the other way around.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"Good." He straightened his suit. "Tell Finnick that I want to see him in my office when he returns, will you?"</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>A request from my boss is an order.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"I will." I said before clearing my throat.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"Thank you. "Peeta said over his shoulders. "And thank you for your company, Miss Everdeen. It was really nice."</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>The way he called me <em>Miss Everdeen</em> did things to me all the damn times.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Who was I trying to kid? The very existence of that man turned me inside out.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>It was ridiculous, I know. And I was a horrible human being. But what could I do if all parts of my body seemed in desperate need for that man?</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I was not happy with that, trust me. And I made a promise to myself: I would get Peeta Mellark out of my system.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>At any cost.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Peeta's POV</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"A toast."</p><p>Finnick proposed and I touched my glass to his.</p><p>"A toast." I echoed.</p><p>Earlier that day we had closed a millionaire deal with an important company that we had been talking to for months, and although I didn't like drinking on a working day, I felt the need to celebrate.</p><p>In addition to being chief financial officer of the Mellark Company, Finnick Odair was my personal friend. Perhaps the only friend I had.</p><p>He was one of the few people in my life I trusted with my eyes closed, and the only one I felt comfortable telling absolutely anything.</p><p>"Cato was a hellish client to deal with." Finnick groaned. "Excellent entrepreneur, terrible human being."</p><p>"Understatement."</p><p>I loosened my tie and moved my head from side to side to ease the tension on my trapeze.</p><p>"The son of a bitch wanted us to beg." Finnick recalled. "The reason I didn't tell him to go fuck himself was because I knew how profitable this deal would be for the company."</p><p>"Never mind. At the end of the day, <em>he</em> ended up begging."</p><p>We made another toast and laughed.</p><p>"Katniss Everdeen should be here with us today." Finnick commented. "She was a key player in this case. Damn, that girl knows how to be convincing. She came up with creative solutions and solid arguments."</p><p>For some reason I couldn't put my finger on the mere mention of her name made me swallow hard.</p><p>Ignoring that, Finnick was absolutely right. Katniss had been with us for less than a year and had contributed significantly to the company's growth.</p><p>If her resume had already impressed me, she never tired of doing it on a daily basis.</p><p>If I could define Katniss Everdeen in one word, it would be <em>brilliant</em>.</p><p>"She already had plans for tonight."</p><p>Yes, I had invited her. I would never fail to do so, recognizing the importance of her actions for the deal to be sealed.</p><p>If Finnick noticed the disappointment in my voice, he didn't comment.</p><p>"Hot date?" He joked. "Does she even have a boyfriend... or a girlfriend? All these months, I've never seen her with anyone."</p><p>I myself had already questioned that.</p><p>For no specific reason, just because she's young, beautiful and successful. It's difficult to imagine such an incredible person alone, but obviously she didn't need someone else to feel whole.</p><p>And anyway, it was not up to me to judge.</p><p>"I'm afraid to say that this is not a matter for us, Finnick."</p><p>I knew he hadn't asked with ulterior motives. Like me, Finnick was married. And at least one of us was fully happy.</p><p>"I'm just curious." He explained. "She always seems to have her walls up. It's difficult to access it or to know what she's thinking."</p><p>"She's just a discreet woman." I defended. "But if you want to know what she's thinking, look her in the eye. They seem to have a life of their own."</p><p>Finnick was looking at me weirdly.</p><p>"She has beautiful eyes." He said. "And she's an overwhelmingly attractive woman."</p><p>I didn't like the direction that conversation was going, but I couldn't help but agree mentally.</p><p>Her long dark hair, olive skin and full lips spoke for themselves. And shit, those mercury eyes. Not to mention that body.</p><p>Katniss was not thin, nor was she overweight. She seemed proud of her curves and it showed in the way she moved.</p><p>"It doesn't seem right to comment on her physical attributes, Finnick."</p><p>I already said that we were married men, but we were still <em>men</em> after all. </p><p>I would be a hypocrite if I said that I didn't find Katniss attractive, and I never had a problem praising other women, but when it came to her specifically I just didn't feel at ease.</p><p>"I'm not commenting on anything, I just pointed out a fact." Finnick leaned over the table on his elbows and looked at me. "Is it just me or do you have a soft spot for Katniss Everdeen?"</p><p>My lips turned into a thin line and I looked away.</p><p>I didn't have a soft spot for her. We barely talked, so I couldn't say that I knew her well enough to have any feeling for her other than admiration.</p><p>"Don't be absurd. It’s not about that, it’s about respecting my employee."</p><p>Finnick seemed nowhere near convinced, but he decided not to dwell on it.</p><p>Should I be grateful?</p><p>We continued drinking and talking about trivia, until my cell phone rang.</p><p>It was Delly, my wife.</p><p>"Hi honey." I answered on the second ring. "Did something happen?"</p><p>"<em>Where are you?</em>"</p><p>Her tone was somewhat harsh.</p><p>"I'm at The Hob with Finnick." I answered. "We are celebrating the closing of a deal."</p><p>"<em>And you didn't think it was important to let me know?</em>" She inquired. "<em>I'm home alone while you get drunk on a weekday with Finnick. Annie may agree with this type of behavior, but not me.</em>"</p><p>Finnick noticed the instant change in my expression and made a face.</p><p>I wanted to ask her if being at home would make any difference to her, but I stopped myself.</p><p>"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Del. I just arrived and I won't be long, I didn't think it was important."</p><p>"<em>Of course you didn't think so.</em>" She said wryly. "<em>Nothing that involves me is a priority in your life.</em>"</p><p>My paternal grandfather used to say that anger was a feeling that only hurt those who felt it, and he was right.</p><p>Instead of paying anger with even more anger, the right thing to do was to try to preserve yourself and the other person by trying to neutralize it.</p><p>I know that everything is more beautiful in theory than in practice.</p><p>For the past couple of years my wife has been constantly angry. The reason? I honestly don't know.</p><p>Psychiatrists, psychologists, spiritual guides. I've tried everything.</p><p>But it seemed that Delly's anger was always directed at me and it hurt me in countless ways. Because I loved her, despite everything. And I didn't think the opposite was true anymore.</p><p>"This is not true."</p><p>"<em>Are there any women with you?</em>" Delly asked accusingly. "<em>Let me talk to Finnick.</em>"</p><p>I absolutely hated it when she did that. It was bad enough when she dumped her dramas on me, but getting my friends involved was a bit too much.</p><p>"Delly, please be reasonable." I asked calmly. "We'll talk when I get home."</p><p>"<em>I want to speak to Finnick now!</em>" I pushed the phone away from my ear when she screamed. "<em>If there are no women there with you, why don't you let me talk to him? It's not like he's going to tell you off anyway. You men are all the same, and always protect each other."</em></p><p>I wasn't sure if Finnick was listening to the conversation, but he seemed to understand what was going on and gave me an affirmative signal.</p><p>Visibly embarrassed I handed him my phone.</p><p>They talked for a few minutes and then Finnick ended the call.</p><p>From the look on his face, the conversation had not been pleasant.</p><p>"She accused me of cheating on Annie and encouraging you to do the same to her." He rolled his eyes. "Delly is completely out of her mind, Peeta."</p><p>"She's just stressed." I tried to ease it. </p><p>"Stressed with what exactly?" He looked annoyed. "The modeling agency is doing well and she has a husband who loves her. What else can she want?"</p><p>"You know that life is not about extremes." I scolded him. "There are several aspects in a person's life that can contribute to stress."</p><p>"I know that, but in Delly's case I honestly can't think of anything."</p><p>I rubbed my face with my hands and sighed.</p><p>"That's because you're upset with her now and it's affecting your judgment." I said. "I know that Delly is not being the best of companies, but please try to be patient. She's my wife, Finnick."</p><p>"I know and that's the problem. How long will you continue to lie to yourself?" He seemed to struggle with his self-control. "This is not normal, Peeta. This relationship is being toxic for both of you."</p><p>A lump formed in my throat.</p><p>Finnick didn't have to say the obvious because I already knew it. But it was easier said than done.</p><p>Delly and I always had our problems, but we always managed to get over them.</p><p>"I've been talking to some professionals and-"</p><p>"Stop beating yourself up, Peeta." My friend interrupted my speech. "How many professionals will it take for you to realize that your marriage is over? I know it hurts, and I'm sorry if I'm being insensitive. Just the possibility of separating from Annie makes me dizzy. But when it gets to the point of doing harm physically and psychologically, it makes no sense to insist."</p><p>"Are you asking me to give all up, is that it?" There was pain in my voice. "I took an oath, Finnick. In sickness and in health, remember? A wedding is not just about happy moments, nothing is."</p><p>"This is not about giving up, Peeta. It's about doing the right thing." Finnick sighed heavily. "By God, you've been trying for two years. You gave up on your dream of becoming a father because she didn't want to have children. If there's one thing you could never accuse yourself about, it's about giving up."</p><p>Finnick and I almost never fought, but that subject always left us in a heavy mood.</p><p>I didn't want to be in a bad situation with the only confidant I had. I knew that Finnick just wanted my well-being, but that fight was mine to fight.</p><p>"I appreciate your concern, Fin. I really do." I told him. "But for the sake of our friendship I prefer this conversation to end here. Please."</p><p>I knew he was still upset, but Finnick respected my request.</p><p>One way or another our night had been ruined.</p><p>"Delly?"</p><p>The penthouse was dark and silent.</p><p>I can still remember when coming home was the best time of my day. It certainly wasn't the case now.</p><p>I tried to be silent, in case Delly had fallen asleep, but when I walked into our room she was sitting on the bed looking nowhere.</p><p>She didn't even turn her face towards me.</p><p>"Hey. Are you okay?" I was always walking on eggs with her. "Finnick and I, just the two of us, had a few drinks and then I came home. I'm sorry again for not letting you know, it won't happen again."</p><p>I know I already said that, but I felt I should say it again. To assure her.</p><p>Delly used to be a confident woman, with high self-esteem, but it looks like that woman got lost somewhere.</p><p>I would do anything so she could find her back.</p><p>"I just have a headache." She murmured.</p><p>I was surprised that she even responded.</p><p>"Did you take any painkillers? You want me to get you something-"</p><p>"You don't have to pretend to care, Peeta." Delly looked at me, her beautiful blue eyes cold. "It's just a headache, I'm not going to die."</p><p>I was already used to Delly's passive-aggressiveness, but that didn't make it hurt any less.</p><p>I just wanted to see her happy and full of life again.</p><p>Finnick's words danced in my mind.</p><p>"I'm not pretending anything, Delly." I stopped unbuttoning my shirt. "You are still my wife, even though you seem not to want to be."</p><p>"What are you trying to imply?" She stood up. "If you want to file for divorce, do that, Peeta. You don't need to look for an excuse."</p><p>
  <em>Breathe, Peeta. Just breathe.</em>
</p><p>"If anyone here seems to want this marriage to end, it's not me." I tried to keep my cool. "Don't accuse me of something you know is unfair, Delly."</p><p>We stood looking at each other. We had never touched on that subject until now.</p><p>At least not so openly.</p><p>"There is another woman, isn't there?" Delly walked up to me. "I can feel it, Peeta. You don't love me anymore. There is no need to continue lying."</p><p>Honestly, I was sick of it.</p><p>Talking to Delly was like talking to a wall these days. She just didn't seem to absorb anything that I or any of the professionals said.</p><p>She didn't allow herself to listen. She just pointed her finger to judge, judge and judge.</p><p>Accusing me of cheating on her was bad. Accusing me of not loving her was the end of the line.</p><p>"Loving you was the only thing I did in the last few years, Delly. To the point that I forgot to love my own self." My eyes were watery. "There is no other woman, there never was. But I'm getting really tired here, Del. And I think you are too."</p><p>I picked up two of my pillows and some bedding. I couldn't bear to share the same space with her at that time.</p><p>"My presence doesn't seem to do you any good, so I'm going to sleep in my office from now on." I said. "If you need anything you know where to find me. If your headache persists, please be sure to let me know. Good night, Del."</p><p>
  <em>I love you.</em>
</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was hard to concentrate on work.</p><p>Peeta, Finnick and I spent the whole morning analyzing some charts, but it was a few minutes ago that Finnick got a call and excused himself. So obviously, Peeta and I were left alone.</p><p>Ironic as it may seem in the face of the situation, my distraction had nothing to do with the reasons you must be thinking.</p><p>Peeta's appearance was just terrible. I mean, he was still one of the most beautiful men I had ever seen in my life, but there was something missing today.</p><p>Perhaps the sparkle in those blue eyes of his. </p><p>There were dark circles under them.</p><p>"I finished." My voice suddenly echoed, startling him. "My data matched Finnick's, the profit margin remains the same."</p><p>Peeta lost a few seconds staring at me as if I were an alien until he had a reaction.</p><p>"Oh yes, right." He mumbled. "That's great. Thank you Miss Everdeen."</p><p>There was something off about him today. He was acting and talking like a robot.</p><p>I shouldn't care. Peeta was my boss, not my friend. </p><p>But it was still fucking bothering me.</p><p>I was good at reading body expressions and his drooping eyelids, lost eyes and the corner of his lips down clearly indicated that he was sad. <em>Very</em> sad.</p><p>He was always kind to everyone around him and the idea that someone might have hurt him didn't make any sense to me. But of course, there were a multitude of other reasons.</p><p>And it wasn't like I really knew him.</p><p>"The projections are quite optimistic." I tried to continue the conversation. "The company is exceeding all of our expectations. It's a great achievement, Mr. Mellark. Especially if we compare MC with other companies that have been in the business for longer."</p><p>That overly excited tone definitely didn't belong to me.</p><p>Was I trying to cheer him up?</p><p>
  <em>Oh no Katniss.</em>
</p><p>I think that was the longest sentence I've ever said around him voluntarily. No wonder he looked genuinely surprised.</p><p>"Um, yes?" He gave me a small smile. "I'm very satisfied with that. And you've been instrumental in making that possible, Miss Everdeen."</p><p>Did you notice that too?</p><p>He said he was satisfied, not happy. Any other young entrepreneur would be <em>overjoyed</em>.</p><p>"I just do my job."</p><p>I would be lying if I said that I don't deal well with praise, especially regarding my competence. But if it was Peeta Mellark praising me, well, I'd look like a teenager with a crush.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck me.</em>
</p><p>"An <em>excellent</em> job." Peeta concluded. "I foresee a bright future for you in this company."</p><p>I had a silly smile on my face now.</p><p>I couldn't help but imagine that if my dad was still here, he would be really proud of me. I know I was.</p><p>"You smiled." I immediately got serious again when Peeta pointed. "I think it was a first."</p><p>He carried a playful tone and that made me feel inexplicably at ease. He looked a little lighter now, and that made me feel relieved.</p><p>"I know how to smile." I returned it. "I'm not the ice queen that people think. I mean, not always."</p><p>I was trying to hold on to another smile.</p><p>"I do know that." Some of the sparkle had returned to his eyes. "I just hope to be around when that happens. You have a beautiful smile, Miss Everdeen."</p><p>I haven't felt butterflies in my stomach like that since I was thirteen.</p><p>He was just being polite, as usual. But that man had an effect on me that I could never understand.</p><p>It was not rational. It was a skin, hormonal thing. I honestly don't know.</p><p>All I knew was that I needed to stay away.</p><p>"Are we done here yet Mr. Mellark? Can I go back to my office now?"</p><p>"Um, yes?" Peeta frowned. "It's everything all right? You got suddenly nervous."</p><p>"Everything's great." I lied. "I just remembered that I have to make an important call."</p><p>"I see..."</p><p>Peeta didn't seem convinced, but neither did I care.</p><p>~</p><p>"Thank you for coming."</p><p>Gale Hawthorne was holding a bottle of port wine in his hand.</p><p>We grew up together and although he was three years older than me, Gale was the first friend I had in my life.</p><p>Tall, olive skin, gray eyes. That could easily be a description of a brother of mine.</p><p>But <em>brother</em> was far from a word I'd use to refer to Gale.</p><p>"Thank you for calling me." Gale smirked. "I didn't think you would."</p><p>
  <em>Yes, me neither.</em>
</p><p>Since we are being honest here, I'd rather be direct: Gale and I have dated in the past. A not so distant past.</p><p>And given my current single status, you may have realized that it didn't work.</p><p>"Sit." I pointed to the couch. "I'll get the glasses."</p><p>When I came back to the living room Gale was sprawled on the couch with one arm on its back and his legs spread.</p><p>I sat in the armchair next to it and took my feet under me.</p><p>"How have you been, Catnip?" He asked. "I missed you."</p><p>I could say that I missed him too, but that was not true. At least not in the way he wanted me to.</p><p>You must be wondering what happened between the two of us, aren't you? But calm down, don't jump to conclusions.</p><p>I couldn't give him what he wanted, we broke up and that was it.</p><p>Gale is a nice guy. Me? Not so much.</p><p>"Working... a lot. And you?"</p><p>"You know, a little bit of everything." He smiled. "Fighting crime in my spare time."</p><p>Gale was a police officer. One of the best.</p><p>His father was murdered just before my father died in a car accident. It was what brought us together.</p><p>We were alike in many ways and our choices in life were influenced by the loss of our respective fathers.</p><p>"God, you look beautiful." Gale smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't say that. But it's just that it's hard not to when I'm facing you."</p><p>Do you remember when I said that I was not a nice girl?</p><p>I knew Gale was still in love with me, but still I couldn't let him go.</p><p><em>Selfish</em> was the right word.</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>In other circumstances I would scold him. I would ask him to stop.</p><p>But I was feeling alone. I was needy. And Gale was right there.</p><p>We talked about nothing in particular for a few minutes. Since I had known him for a long time, the conversation flowed more easily.</p><p>Still, I didn't feel involved. I asked and answered questions automatically.</p><p>Perhaps feeling that I was a little tense, Gale sat on the edge of the couch so he could be closer to me.</p><p>"Are you okay Catnip?" He held one of my hands in his. "I was trying to give you the time you asked for, but it wasn't being easy for me. It made me really happy when I saw your face on my phone screen."</p><p>The hope in his big gray eyes broke my heart in two.</p><p> <em>What the hell was I doing?</em></p><p>"I-" </p><p>I tried to say something, but nothing came out.</p><p>"Why you called me?" I could feel the anticipation in his tone. "Is there anything you want to tell me?"</p><p>I could lie. I could tell him that I missed him too, and that I wanted him around. We would have sex, something we were compatible with, and then I would say that it was good, but nothing has changed.</p><p>Or I could tell him the truth. That I was having mixed feelings for my boss and that I had no idea why I asked him to come to my apartment. He would leave, probably upset, but I would retain the rest of my remaining dignity.</p><p>Reason and emotion fought a battle within me.</p><p>Gale seemed to have other plans, however. Before I could even make a choice he pulled me to him and kissed me.</p><p>At first I didn't respond. I just stood there in shock as he tried to make space between my lips with his tongue.</p><p>His hands were <em>everywhere</em>.</p><p>He looked thirsty, desperate even, and for a moment I let the need speak louder so I gave in and straddled him.</p><p>I won't lie, it felt really good. Gale was absurdly hard underneath me and the rubbing of my pulsing clit with his length was doing me wonders.</p><p>I needed so bad to come. But I would feel bad about coming if he didn't, so I'd have to go through with it.</p><p>And I knew that I shouldn't.</p><p>"You are so hot." He murmured against my neck. "I need you, Katniss. I love-"</p><p>That was the only time that Gale called me by name.</p><p>And that's when I realized it was time to stop.</p><p>I broke off the kiss abruptly and stood up, keeping myself as far away from him as I could.</p><p>Gale was disheveled and breathless, and his expression was a mixture of lust and pain.</p><p>"What happened?" He wanted to know. "What's wrong Catnip? You called me and asked me to come over, I thought-"</p><p>"I don't deserve you, Gale." My voice came out torn. "I shouldn't have called you and you know it. But it's not your fault, it's mine. I'm a selfish bitch."</p><p>"No, you're not." Gale ran up to me and held my face with both hands. "You're just confused. "</p><p>"The fact that I'm confused doesn't give me the right to play with your feelings." I said. "I don't know what I was thinking when I called you, Gale. I did it on impulse."</p><p>"If it was on impulse it means a lot. It means that you did it without thinking, that your subconscious wants it as much as I do."</p><p>I couldn't believe he was <em>defending</em> me. I didn't deserve defense.</p><p>I kept pushing him away and then giving him false hopes.</p><p>The only thing I was worthy of was being alone.</p><p>"My subconscious doesn't want this, my subconscious just doesn't know how to deal with the need." I was already crying at that point. "I love you, but not in the way you expect me to. You're my best friend and you always will be, but I can't stay close to you knowing it hurts you. It's toxic for both of us."</p><p>"You can love me the way I want to if you allow yourself to."</p><p>"It's not how it works." I walked to the window and watched the movement of the street. "You don't need a person to force him or herself to love you, and neither do I need to force myself to do that. If you hadn't fallen in love with me, maybe things could be different."</p><p>"So you don't want to be with me because I love you?" Gale was annoyed. "How can that even be considered a bad thing?"</p><p>"I don't want to be with you because it's not fair." I explained. "I can't just offer sex to someone who wants marriage and children. That would be selfish on my part, Gale. You deserve someone who is whole for you."</p><p>"I'm able to make my own choices. You don't have to decide for me."</p><p>"So I'm deciding for myself." I looked at him steadily. "I'm sorry for that, for making you come here. I won't be looking for you anymore."</p><p>I know, I had said that before. But now it had to be final.</p><p>The door was open and I held it while Gale scrutinized me.</p><p>"Do you want me to leave?" He asked.</p><p>"It's the right thing to do."</p><p>"That's not what I asked." Gale countered. "I asked if you <em>want</em> this."</p><p>"I do."</p><p>My heart was beating so fast that it was hard to breathe.</p><p>I didn't want to lose my best friend, but it wasn't just about me.</p><p>Gale would understand that one day. Even if he would hate me until that happens.</p><p>"Okay, I'll go." Gale passed by me. "Just know that I won't give up on you so easily."</p><p>Gale stood in front of me and since I had no heels, I was considerably shorter than him.</p><p>I stared at him with my red eyes burning and he did it back.</p><p>I didn't stop him when he leaned over and kissed me once more.</p><p>A goodbye kiss, I imagined. I wasn't going to take that away from him.</p><p>"I'm so sorry." I whispered.</p><p>"I'm not."</p><p>It was the last thing he said before he disappeared.</p>
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